Blast it…you nerfherder!

A tale with slight exaggeration follows…
Monday’s are my day to go to lunch with my dad. And as usual, he drives us in his little Kia Spectra. Or as I call it, the Specter. Yes, you read that correctly….there is no love for the Specter from me.

Before my dad bought it, it had apparently been in a crash. It looks fine, but you know the door doesn’t close exactly right. The windows have a little gap when rolled up. Fortunately, but not soon enough for a past trip back up to Indiana, it doesn’t pull to the left anymore. Yeah, that was fun driving! I can go on, but you get the picture. The Specter. And yes, it’s gray!

So, as we’re going to the thriving metropolis of downtown Dandridge, second oldest town in Tennessee, he cuts off to a back road. At the end of this road is a stop sign. If you look to the right, we’re at the top of a blind hill. After one false attempt to pull out, due to big truck coming up this hill, and a backup required for the little compact SUV coming from the left…he starts to pull out.

I am a smartass.

In my best imitation of Han Solo I yell “punch it Chewie!”. To which dad hits the accelerator, the Specter not only doesn’t punch anything but it cries in distress with a couple of random knocks.

Yep, we’re traveling at an exhilarating 5 MPH!

So, I hit the roof with my hand and the Specter finally jumps to life and picks up speed?!

“We have now hit ludicrous speed, Captain.”

Dad rolled his eyes and drove on.

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2 Responses

  1. LOL. I had a car like that once. You’d push the accelerator and it would seem to stop and think for a second, then lurch forward and, sometimes, die. Great little habit for busy intersections.

    • Hey, what happens when you get promoted? That’ll just be silly. A Major acting as The Captain? Bwa haha!

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